by Adi Stein

What a pivot, my friends. I’m gonna do my best to not brag a whole lot here, but in 2021 my life did a true 180 and I’m thrilled. When sitting down to write this list, I started by reading my list last year and the difference between my life then and now is remarkable. 2020 was brutal but 2021 was genuinely one of the best years of my life. I fell in love, started a new job, lived in a great apartment, got vaccinated against the worst global pandemic in 100 years, moved to another even greater apartment, became an uncle squared, got a booster for the vaccine mentioned previously, and FINALLY GOT A PLAYSTATION 5. All in all, not bad. Not bad at all.

Plus, in all that time I played a bunch of great games and read a bunch of great books! As always, I’m writing this and sharing it in the hopes that you find something here to bring you joy and calm in the coming year. So grab a drink, snuggle up, and let’s go through my top video games and books that I consumed during this wild year.

This is a game purchased on sale in the hopes of finding a good co-op game to play with my friends and it. fit. the. bill. Warhammer: Vermintide 2 is the kind of game that let me sit back with a friend, put on some good music, and just wreck wave after wave of gross enemies (in this case, rat people). This game didn’t provide me with any revelations about myself or the world around me, but it did let me turn off my brain and just hang out with a friend which is truly all I wanted from it. Despite a frustratingly limited and poorly executed loot system, I would definitely recommend Warhammer: Vermintide 2 to anyone looking for a fun co-op experience.

Much like Warhammer: Vermintide 2, this game was another on-sale purchase made in the hopes of finding a great co-op experience. But unlike Warhammer: Vermintide 2, this was a game that required more skill and offered less frustration. I had a blast exploring this dark, oppressive world with my buddy and and tightly coordinating our attacks before diving into another level. This is not an easy game and as such requires close communication and careful planning, especially when it comes to the often-times impossible feeling boss fights. No matter what the game threw at us, though, we persevered, giving me that elusive Soulsborne-boss-defeat-high but with my best friend by my side.

Loop Hero is such a bizarre amalgamation of, like, eight different genres that it is hard to describe what works about it. But something definitely works about it. I’ve never felt more disconnected from my character’s actions and yet so satisfied by what they are doing. I loved creating the perfect deck before a run, methodically placing tiles down, and watching my hero become more and more powerful. The biggest problem with this game for me is how heavily it relies on random luck (or un-luck) of the draw, but it’s still a great time and a super unique game.

I know I’m not the first person to say this but I guess time-loops are the new zombies? They seem to be everywhere and everyone has their own take on them. But Deathloop was the first time-loop game that made me feel empowered by having to restart the cycle. Every time I came back to a level after dying or reaching the end of the day, I had new information that helped me execute my mission like a superpowered assassin. After a few times running through the various parts of Black Reef Island, I was teleporting from rooftop to rooftop, linking an alley full of enemies with the Nexus power and killing them all in one shot. I’d then teleport through a window that leads to a room my target has been hiding out in. He’d never see it coming as I plunge my machete through his back. This would usually trigger a building full of enemies to kick down the door and try to kill me, but my impactful feeling shotgun would take care of them with ease and satisfaction. Once the building was clear I’d zip myself back to the tunnels where I’d escape with more information, powers, and pride than I had when I started. Deathloop makes me feel like a badass and as a scrawny, white, Jewish guy that is a feeling I don’t often have.

If you haven’t played any of the games in this trilogy you are doing yourself a disservice. They are fun, funny, don’t take themselves too seriously, and feature some of the best level design in gaming right now. I’d say that Hitman III is the icing on top but it’s more like a whole other delicious, decadent cake with its own icing on top. While it doesn’t do anything substantially different from the first two games, it does everything superbly. This is a prime example of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” It’s still a game about going into an area, taking out a target, and getting out. It’s still a game about doing those things as ridiculously as you would like. And it’s still a game about having a damn good time doing those things. The one area where it diverges from past games is the final level, which feels far more linear than anything else in the trilogy. And honestly, that’s totally fine. That level encourages you to literally throw every character in the map off a moving train and it was a damn good time. It’s a great conclusion to a great series.

I’m a big Ratchet and Clank fan. These games are just fun to play and the past few have been eye-poppingly gorgeous. Ratchet and Clank: A Rift Apart takes both of those aspects and… ugh RATCHETS them up to 11. I continuously found myself playing this game with my girlfriend on the couch next to me and turning to her to say, “I mean, look at this! Look at how much is going on on screen at once!” Like Deathloop, I have not spent as much time with this game as I would like (I got the PS5, yes, but I got it like a month ago so my time with it has been limited), but I have loved every second of it.

If my girlfriend were writing her own top ten list of games she watched me play this year, Hades would be #1 with a bullet. The characters, colorful aesthetic, writing, music, and run-based gameplay kept both of us hooked from the start. An important part of Rogue-likes is that they feel good to play, and Hades feels fucking great. Each weapon packs its own unique punch and, with the right buffs, is a totally viable means to getting through a run. But what is most impressive is how everything clicks together. I’m a big fan of developer Super Giant (Transistor was my Game of the Year in 2014), but this feels like every department in that company is truly firing on all cylinders. And it doesn’t hurt that every single character is maybe the sexiest video game character ever? Hades is horny and, honestly, good for it. I know I’m late to the party on this one, but Hades can get it.

Wildermyth is my biggest surprise of the year, bar none. Every time I watched this game in action I was turned off. I do not like the way this game looks. I do not like the art and I do not like the animation. But I kept reading excellent review after excellent review so one week when I was out of town I bought it and from the moment I launched it Wildermyth had its hooks in me. What’s most impressive to me about this game was how connected I felt to the randomly generate characters I was controlling. It’s easy to see how a video game developer can get you invested in a custom character they have built from the ground up for you to play. They can control the beats of that character’s story, the tone that they strike in conversations, the way they look, the way they interact with the world, and so much more. But in Wildermyth, there is no guarantee that any one character will do any one thing because of how every aspect of this game is procedurally generated. And yet I cared deeply about nearly every character I was controlling. I felt the loss when a character died, the pride when a character succeeded, and the joy when two characters had a child together. I became invested in nearly every single one of them, which is the key reason why the stories they were a part of were so compelling. I felt like I was ten years old and playing with action figures and that is an awesome feeling I haven’t had in far too long. Wildermyth is a great example of “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” I did and I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I wanted to like the first Psychonauts game so much more than I actually liked it. It’s one of those games that I have started a dozen times but never finished. I’d keep getting lost, lose track of what I was supposed to be doing, or just become disinterested. But it was Double Fine and they are maybe my favorite video game developers out there so I would keep trying. The same cannot be said for Psychonauts 2. I devoured this game, playing it every spare moment that I had, exploring every nook and cranny for collectibles, and smiling from ear to ear throughout the whole experience. I can’t remember the last time I played a game that was bursting with this much creativity, from the collectibles to the enemies to the best-in-class level design (“PSI King's Sensorium” may very well rank in my top 3 levels of all time). Every part of Psychonauts 2 feels like it was designed to one-up the part before it. The characters are compelling, the story is moving and laugh-out-loud funny, and the game feels super good to play. The worst thing I can say is that the song that plays in the final level was stuck in my head for DAYS. If that’s a risk you’re wiling to take, then please pick up this game and give it a shot.

Game of the Year lists are inherently hyperbolic. They’re all about extremes and “best I’ve evers” and unprecedented everything. I’m acknowledging all of this in the hopes that you understand that I get it. And in that hope I’m trying to build trust with you so you believe me when I say that Spiritfarer is perhaps the singular most meaningful piece of art I’ve ever engaged with. This game helped me grieve the loss of my mother in a way that nothing else did.

At its core, Spiritfarer is about loss, how we move through it, how we accept it, and how we find beauty in it. You play as Stella, a young girl tasked with helping a cast of charmingly rendered, anthropomorphic beings move through the Everdoor, a doorway into the great beyond.

The character that moved me the most was a garden snake named Summer. Summer is a world class gardener who has one issue that keeps coming up again and again: There are dragons in the waters with rocks on them and those rocks need to be destroyed so the dragons can live their lives free of the pain these rocks bring. She’s determined to help them out. So you sail to the dragons and mine the rocks off their backs again and again and again. But it’s no use. At a certain point you realize that these dragons and the rocks on their backs are just going to keep coming back. Summer knows this too. It’s incredibly frustrating to her but eventually she accepts it. “I really thought I could keep up with it, this time,” she says as you escort her to the Everdoor. “I was certain it was calming down.” Thinking about Summer in the context of my mother’s battle with breast cancer wrecked me in all the right ways. It helped me develop a new sense of empathy for my mom and what she went through. It helped me explore an incredibly painful time in our lives through a new lens. It helped me grieve.

It sounds heavy, for sure, but Spiritfarer’s art style, seemingly-hand drawn animations, and gameplay make the game feel accessible rather than thematically intimidating. A screenshot of the game would give you no idea of how heavy the subject matter is, and for good reason. The way this game presents is key to the way it deals with its subject matter. It’s the visual equivalent of someone in your life who brings you comfort holding your hand as you go through a hard time. The music and visuals are cute and gentle so that you can feel safe and comforted as you explore sad and potentially scary emotions.

Spiritfarer is a game that anyone who has experienced (or is currently experiencing) grief should play, and at this specific moment in human history I have to imagine that is a lot of us. It’s not just for those who have lost a parent or someone close. It’s for anyone who has had to move on from something or someone they have lost. It helped me feel safe exploring emotions that have felt unsafe to me. It made grief, this enormous and intimidating experience, feel not just manageable but beautiful. It helped me say goodbye to my mom and for that I am extremely grateful.

So here’s the deal: I read a bunch of books this year but only LOVED five of them SO THAT’S ALL YOU’RE GETTING FROM ME, OKAY?? This list is in order of when I read the books, not how much I liked them so keep that in mind. In any case, here we go!

A Promised Land by Barack Obama

I love me some non-fiction, especially when it’s about United States history and this book was right in my strike zone. Obama, it turns out, was not just a great president but also a great writer? Who knew! A Promised Land is a fascinating exploration of Obama’s rise to power and his first few years in office. I loved the insight it provided into how he dealt with every issue that came his way, but my favorite parts were when he gave us a glimpse of his own anger and frustrations. This was a president who almost always presented as calm, cool, and thoughtful so getting a peak into the moments that infuriated him made him seem more human and relatable. This book is a strong recommendation for anyone who is at all interested in the machinations of running one of the most powerful countries on Earth.

Tenth of December by George Saunders

I’m not a big fan of short stories. For me, the worst part of every book is the beginning of it. Learning the characters and the world gives me no joy. So a book that is just that again and again and again is not my usual jam. But this book was a true treat. George Saunders is a master of the form and that is abundantly clear here. Each story gets right to the point and doesn’t waste any time once its there. Saunders's writing is sharp and borderline mean. Reading his stories feel like watching Gordon Ramsay beautifully filet a sea bass. It’s sexy, scary, and I can’t look away.

This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel

This Is How It Always Is may very well be my favorite book that I read this year. At the very least it was the most out of nowhere for me. I knew almost nothing about this book going into it and that really freed me from any expectations going in. This Is How It Always Is is the story of two parents doing their best to raise their trans child. I have a personal connection with this kind of material, but this is a book that anyone with a heart would be totally into. It’s funny, heartfelt, and bursting with love and compassion. It’s not often that I sit down with a book and don’t get up until I’m done with it but that is exactly what happened with this one.

Five Little Indians by Michelle Good

Much like This Is How It Always Is, Five Little Indians completely took my off guard and was fantastically difficult to put down. But tonally, these two books could not be more different. Five Little Indians is a brutal, fictionalized telling of very real events that happened to Indigenous people in Canada. It follows several Indigenous people from childhood to adulthood as they attempt to simply live their lives after they are traumatically ripped from their parents arms and forced into an abusive Christian boarding school. It is heart wrenching and profound, filled with difficult moments that highlight the humanity of these individuals. Everyone character that we follow in this book is simply doing what they can with the impossible circumstances they have found themselves in. It’s a devastating and beautiful story that points out the intense damage society has wrought on Indigenous people. Michelle Good pointed a spotlight on something I knew nothing about and didn’t let me look away. I am in her debt.

Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed out loud reading a book as much as I did reading Priestdaddy. Lockwood’s writing has a great rhythm to it and her creative word pairings leave me chuckling at least every other page. On top of that she tells her story with a mind boggling amount of patience. Her father is objectively insane and rather than being exhausted or frustrated by him, she sees him for the wild character that he is. Her story doesn’t shy away from the dark parts of the priesthood, but she doesn’t dwell on it either. Instead she points out the intense flaws in this hierarchy while also highlighting the absurdity of the system in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t some profound writing on priestly abuses. It’s a largely fun memoir about a life in an absurd world. I don’t know how Lockwood feels about having lived in it, but I for sure know that I’m glad she did.

And there you have it! I hope that these lists have given you a new game or book to try. At the very least I hope they entertained you on the toilet. No matter what though, I’m hoping that in the next year we can all find ourselves in a better world than the one we lived in this past year. It’s hard out there for a lot, a lot of people and I fully acknowledge and appreciate how lucky I am to have had the year that I’ve had. I suppose that’s why I write these lists every year. Because even in my worst years, I found art that got me through to the other end. I found games and books that connected me with others and the world around me. I found stories that made my life objectively better. And I share all of these in the hopes that you find something on these lists that will make your life better as well.

I hope you all have a happy, healthy, safe, and fulfilling 2022. Thanks for reading and see you again next year.

Pixel Theory Blog

Adi's Top Games and Books of 2021