by Adi Stein
SPOILER ALERTS ABOUND
There really isn’t much to be said about 2020 that a million other people in a million different corners of the internet aren’t already saying. In a way, I actually think 2020 is the most agreeable thing to ever happen to humanity, in the sense that we can all agree it’s been the worst thing to ever happen to humanity. For personal reasons, 2020 has been particularly rough. I have more than once uttered sentences that start with “Pandemic aside…” which is, honestly, just wild. But despite, or maybe in fact because, of all of this, 2020 is probably the most important year of my life. I learned more about myself in the past year than I likely learned the 20+ years preceding it. I am immensely proud of surviving 2020. It was difficult and exciting and scary and thrilling and devastating and just about every other extreme it could have been.
But for right now, let’s lower the temperature in the room. For these two lists, let’s escape into worlds that helped get me through this ballsy year. After all, what’s more relaxing than reading about things someone loves? So grab a drink, snuggle up, and let’s go through my top ten video games and books that I consumed during the end of the world.
#10 Tom Clancy’s The Division 2
A pandemic ravages The United States and, because of an unresponsive government and the inflammatory language of leadership, radicalized militia’s roam the streets of DC aiming to take control of various administrative buildings with the hopes of overthrowing the government. Welcome to The Division 2. Just, like, maybe this wasn’t the right moment, culturally, for me to start playing this game? I started playing it at the beginning beginning of the actual, real world pandemic and, sure, I appreciated the irony, but I do love me a good loot shooter and this is that. I especially enjoyed the way it would let me customize and set different load outs so I could easily adjust my play style, whether playing with a friend or by myself. If you’re looking for some mindless fun, this game is a great choice. Just try to keep it mindless. If you think too much about what’s going on… anyway NUMBER NINE!
#9 Doom Eternal
Doom Eternal might be my most disappointing game of the year? I can’t remember the last time that I was so enjoying a game until one, singular element came along. In Doom Eternal’s case, that element is one enemy called The Marauder. He shows up as a particularly unfun boss fight and then keeps showing up, same level of difficulty, as a regular monster ya gotta do a murder on. He is so bad that he perfectly highlights everything else great about the game. Doom Eternal is all about barely surviving as you quickly and violently kill a whole mess o’ demons. You’re constantly moving, alternating between weapons and damage types, perpetually balancing your health with your armor with your ammo with your cool downs. It is so, so, so fun and genuinely created amazing zen-flow states in a wildly violent game. But The Marauder makes you slow down, carefully pick your shots, and focus exclusively on him. If it weren’t for this attention-hog, Doom Eternal would rank much, much higher on my list. Still a solid recommendation, but know that when this dude shows up, the pace slows down.
#8 Kingdoms of Amalur: Re-Reckoning
This game holds this year’s coveted I Love This Game But Can’t Honestly Recommend It In Good Faith, You Know, Like Destiny slot on my list this year. I really loved the original Kingdoms of Amalur when it came out on the PS3. It was beautiful, fun to play, and filled to the brim with quests and content. I’ve been dying to play it recently so I was thrilled when they announced this remaster. But it is still very much the same game. Almost nothing has changed, visuals included, which makes the whole thing feel kinda dated? But that’s exactly what I wanted? I dunno, this game just holds a soft spot in my heart. It’s as mindless as you want it to be and as deep and rewarding as you’d hope a fantasy RPG would be. But for me the standout is the gameplay which is arcady and fun in an original God of War kind of way. Having played The Witcher III between the original Amalur and this one, I can attest to the fact that strong, solid, and fun combat can really make a fantasy RPG stand out. So thank you, Amalur, for making it fun to hit things while I run around your lovely world.
#7 Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2
See, unlike the last game on this list, the original Tony Hawk games provide me with zero nostalgia. But when Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2 came out this year, it was all anyone could talk about. They talked about how good it felt and how great the soundtrack was and how they tweaked the controls and visuals to be exactly how fans of the original remember them being (which is different than how they actually were). So I bought it and downloaded it and almost tried to return it after an hour. No one talked about how friggin’ hard these games are! I screamed to my friend Kyle (who calmly gave me the excellent advice to be patient and give the game a real shot), “This game is harder than Bloodborne!” And while I do stand by that statement, I eventually learned how to enjoy this game and man oh man was it some of the most fun I’ve had with my friends this year. Whether they know it or not, I had a genuine blast in the multiplayer of this game with my pals, grinding rails and fucking up ollies and listening to amazing music. There was no competition, no stress, just chill times and good vibes and at the peak of the first wave of the COVID-19 outbreak, that was exactly what I needed. If you’re reading this and get this game, hit me up, I’m always down to skate.
#6 Astroneer
Now I know this game has been out for a long, long time but this was the first year that I finally got into it and, while I was playing the far inferior PS4 version, I truly love this little gem. Astroneer is the survival game I’ve always wanted in that it does not require intense resource management to play it. At its heart, this is a game about exploration and creation. I loved booting up Astroneer and just exploring what the planet I was on had to offer. Sucking up dirt and minerals to make the next cool item in the game gave me a calm and relaxing sense of achievement that made me constantly look forward to my next discovery and creation. And much like Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 1+2, I strongly recommend this game with a pal. Driving a buggy across a vast planet in search of cool shit with a friend is just a good time. Actually, come to think of it, is Astroneer the greatest road trip game ever made? Another question for another time, my friends.
#5 Ghost of Tsushima
There is one thing I know I will always get from a Sucker Punch game: best in class gameplay. No studio makes better feeling games, and Ghost of Tsushima is no exception. So when they combined that amazing gameplay with an exciting and rarely visited time and place, I was sold. Feudal Japan during the end of the samurai is an exciting setting and Sucker Punch finds the beauty in every moment. This is easily one of the most visually gorgeous games I’ve ever played. I just got a big, new, 4K TV and I re-downloaded Ghost of Tsushima just to behold it in all its glory. And damn is there a lot of glory to behold. In addition it has an emotional and impactful soundtrack that I will remember for years to come. While the game might fall into some overdone open world tropes, it is wholly unique in its story, characters, setting, and gameplay. It might not be my favorite Sucker Punch game (that slot is still held by inFamous), but Ghost of Tsushima is a must-play for anyone with a PS4.
#4 Person 5
Boy oh boy do I love me a good JRPG, and Persona 5 is an excellent JRPG. This game has been the perfect companion through this year. On a base level, it is long. Like I’ve put in almost 80 hours and still haven’t finished it (fingers crossed it sticks the landing). It has always been there for me when I need to just sink into a game for a bunch of hours, and I really appreciate it for that. But a long game isn’t always a good game. In fact, more often than not, it can mean a bad game. But Persona 5 is worth all the time I’ve put into it. With interesting characters, striking and exciting art design, a compelling story, and world class gameplay, it’s a game that keeps me coming back. Now, it’s not perfect by any means. It’s got some serious straight-male-gazey badness going on. But those moments are brief flashes in a rich, complex game. If you can look past that (and I’m not saying you should), you’ll find one of the best JRPG experience I’ve ever had.
#3 Among Us
I feel weird about how high Among Us ranks on this list given the fact that it is certainly the game I played the least of this group. But every time I played it was pure, unbridled fun. Getting a group of people together to play (a Herculean task in and of itself) means an abundance of yelling, arguing, accusing, and laughter. Games where you have to make your case for what you’re doing are always home runs for me. I love Taboo and Risk and Monopoly for that exact reason. So demanding that your friends explain where they were when a dead body turns up, knowing full well that you did the murder, is incredibly fun. It’s a game centered around the feeling of getting away with something. There’s a reason this game blew up on Twitch this year. At a time in which we’re all looking to blame someone for all the things going wrong in our lives, it be quite cathartic to get away with murder.
#2 Spelunky 2
In direct contrast to Among Us, there’s a decent chance that I’ve put more time into Spelunky 2 than any other game this year. I am a huge Spelunky fan (I’d put it in my top five favorite games of all time) and I am happy to report that Spelunky 2 does this series well. For starters, it seems to have just doubled down on everything that made the first game great. Tight gameplay? Improved. Challenging and varied locations? Yes plus branching paths. Secrets? More than you could imagine. I have certainly not seen everything this game has to offer. Heck, I haven’t beaten it a single time yet. But I keep going. One more round after one more round. It’s a game that’s punishing but somehow keeps you coming back, challenging you to do better than you did before. Spelunky 2 isn’t breaking new ground or fundamentally changing how things worked from the first game, but I didn’t want that. I wanted more Spelunky! And, fortunately, that’s exactly what I got.
#1
The Last of Us Part II
Buckle up because this is gonna be a long one. The Last of Us Part II is one of the most devastating and brutal games I’ve ever played, but it is also one of the greatest pieces of modern storytelling I’ve ever encountered and it provided some much needed catharsis and understanding for me. I could talk about the disturbingly satisfying gameplay or the breathtaking visuals, but this ain’t a review. This is about why this game ranks so high for me. And it ranks so high for three clear reasons: 1) It’s representation of Judaism. 2) The way it handles the death of a parent. 3) The game’s lesson about the necessity of radical empathy.
Let’s go beat by beat:
Judaism, Son!
The Last of Us Part II provided me with the best Jewish character I’ve ever experienced in any piece of art or entertainment ever. Dina is an incredible example of the strength of the Jewish people and the strength of the Jewish faith. There is a breathtaking moment about a quarter into the game in which Ellie is exploring a dilapidated building in downtown Seattle with Dina. I remember playing this moment and looking around thinking, “That looks like a bimah… And that looks like a menorah… and that looks like an aron…” It was at that moment that Dina says, “This used to be a synagogue.” And I thought it would end there. Cool. A shul. I dig it. But then Dina starts talking about the Jewish rituals that used to take place in this space and how Judaism helped her get through the most difficult time of her life. In 2020 I leaned into my Judaism more than ever before and it was one of most important choices I made this year. Dina made me feel understood, seen, and, more importantly, made me proud to be Jewish.
Joel, Get Up
This past year my mom, Melissa Stein, died after years of battling with cancer. I cannot truly put into words how hard it is to watch someone who has, for your entire life, been the very definition of strength slowly lose their strength and pass away. Watching this happen and trying to stop it, knowing full well there is nothing you can do, is a type of pain I’ve never experienced before. So when I watched Joel’s death scene, in which Ellie is pinned to the ground and forced to watch the death of this father figure, I understood full well what she was feeling. I knew, first hand, the horrible cocktail of sorrow, desperation, and helplessness that consumed Ellie in that moment. But there was one major difference between Ellie and me in this moment: Ellie could hold someone responsible. No one did this to my mom. No one took her from me. There was no one I could exact revenge on. But Ellie could. I understood why she went on such a vicious warpath and why she was willing to do whatever it took to get justice. If I could go out there and take a shotgun to cancer’s face or beat it to death with an iron pipe, I would do it without hesitation. By playing as Ellie and exacting that justice, it provided a catharsis for me that the real world couldn’t. Was what Ellie did right? I think even the game says no (see the next paragraph). But by giving Ellie her revenge, I was able to work through the raw anger that I experience when my mom died. That is something no other storytelling medium could have provided me.
The Case for Radical Empathy
The Last of Us Part II has one clear, simple message hidden in all it’s bloodshed and complexity: you never truly know where another person is coming from. There is a moment, about halfway through the game, where you switch perspectives from Ellie to Abby, the very person who kills Joel at the beginning of the game. This switch, at first, felt horrible. Now I was the villain. The person who killed my mom- I mean Joel (ummm… I’ll sort that out with my therapist later). How was I supposed to root for this person, let alone play as them without wanting to fail? But by some magic, or more honestly a masterful interweaving of storytelling and gameplay, not only was I cheering for Abby but I felt I understood her. Her actions, though violent and terrible, were perfectly justifiable to me. Through Abby, Naughty Dog showed me perceived evil is not actual evil. This message felt particularly important to me right now. The argument could be made that this country is more divided now than it has ever been, setting aside the literal Civil War. Many of us have full blown lost the ability to see the other side of the argument. And, honestly, as a super liberal progressive Democrat, I think that’s okay. Why should I try and understand the mindset that would rip children from their parents and lock them in cages? Why would I ever want to wrap my head around the person who sees “Black Lives Matter” and thinks “Blue Lives Matter” as if the two are even close to comparable? On what planet will I look at a group of literal Nazis and wonder how someone could say there are very fine people in that group? I’m not making the case that I or anyone else should try and defend those actions or ideas. I don’t think that’s what this game is saying either. What I think The Last of Us Part II is saying is that making someone a villain simply creates more villains. Instead we need to meet people where they are, with all the love we can muster. This game is all about the dangers and horror of exacting violent revenge. The Last of Us Part II makes the case for radical empathy by showing us the cost of having no empathy at all.
Besides playing video games, one of my main outlets for relaxation and inspiration in 2020 was reading! Boy oh boy did I chew through some awesome books and I cannot WAIT to tell you all about them. I’m gonna do this the same way I did it last year: This list is in the order of when I read the book, not how much I liked it. I don’t know why, but I have a much harder time ranking and comparing books. So let’s let each of these stand on their own. Hopefully you’ll find your next read in here somewhere.
This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate
by Naomi Klein
You’ll quickly decipher some patterns on this list and one of them is climate change. There are many ways in which I am a single-issue voter - that issue being climate change - but this book showed me, very clearly and for the first time, how combating climate change can achieve a number of progressive goals in one fell swoop. Truthfully, capitalism has shown its true, vicious colors during this pandemic and Klein makes the case for combatting capitalism as a means to combat climate change. After all, the warming of our planet is problem created and fueled (literally) by an economic structure centered around taking and consuming as much as possible. This book opened my eyes in new ways, much like White Fragility did for me last year. It showed me how my actions have a direct impact on this issue and how we, as a society, need to be taking large steps quickly in order to fix things. The saddest part about this book, however, is how old it is and how, as a result, it shows us that we are probably definitely too late.
Children of Blood and Bone
by Tommi Adeyemi
The first book in the (as of this writing) unfinished Orisha trilogy, Children of Blood and Bone is thought-provoking, emotional, and so, so fun. Adeyemi has that rare gift of world building in a way that doesn’t make me feel like a newcomer but also doesn’t leave me confused. The world she crafts in this book is exciting, new, and packed characters that I want to know more about. She also does a great job of setting up villains only to make us completely understanding why they are doing what they are doing. It’s a fun adventure and an exhilarating page turner. One of my strongest recommendations on this list.
Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love
by Jonathan Van Ness
Truthfully I can find JVN’s energy a little overwhelming (it’s why I eventually had to stop listening to their podcast), but in Over the Top they do a great job of harnessing and channeling that energy into an insightful and heartfelt memoir. This book also hit me at a very specific moment. At the time of reading it, I was living with my mother during the final months of her life. In Over the Top, Van Ness shares, in almost overwhelming detail, the pain and heartbreak of watching a loved one die in hospice care. Now, to be clear, I cannot say enough great things about hospice and the hospice workers that took care of my mother. And I don’t think Van Ness would either. Instead, they write about the unique and helpless feeling of slowly losing someone you love and it really touched me and helped me understand that I would get through this impossible time. But that is just one tiny, small section of the book. Throughout their writing, Van Ness helps us understand how they got where they are and how they truly learned to love themselves, which is a lesson I think most of us could use right now.
Children of Virtue and Vengeance
by Tommi Adeyemi
Short version: a sequel that is tighter, better, and more exciting than the original. Long version: Adeyemi cut out all the walking around from the first book and doubled down on the action and character development to create an interweaving narrative that I couldn’t put down. Children of Virtue and Vengeance is Children of Blood and Bone with all the knobs turned up. Ugh, I just can’t wait for the third book to come out!
We Are the Weather: Saving the Planet Begins at Breakfast
by Jonathan Safran Foer
Back to climate change! If Klein made me feel fucked, Foer made me feel like there was actually something I could do. And he sympathized with how difficult it is to do it. I’m a big Jonathan Safran Foer fan, having particularly enjoyed his non-fiction, more philosophically minded writing (don’t even get me started on his excellent Haggadah) and this book falls squarely in that category. Here he makes the case for reducing our animal product consumption to one meal a day. No dairy, no eggs, no meat, just pure vegan goodness for breakfast and lunch, which is harder than it sounds. And he knows it. He has a whole chapter in which he has a conversation with himself about not living up to the ideals he puts into the world and about how hard it is to give up foods we love. But for the sake of his children and for generations of children yet unborn, he knows he needs to at least try. We all do. It’s so damn hard, but we can’t sit by and do nothing. We have to put some thought and effort into saving our planet. In We Are the Weather, Foer gives us actionable things we can do. We just have to do them.
Where I Come From: Life Lessons from a Latino Chef
by Aarón Sánchez
I first learned about Aarón Sánchez from MasterChef and since then I have just been a huge fan. I love his honest, heartfelt views on food and how it can impact and shape people’s lives. Where I Come From takes us through his journey with vivid storytelling and intense drive. It’s well told and heartwarming, but the thing that resonated with me the most was the way he talked about working with the staff of the restaurants he cooked in. It made me actually really miss my time as a server, especially at The Fat Radish which had to close down forever due to the pandemic. It made me miss the companionship, camaraderie, and, honestly, drinking that came with working late hours with a group of wild characters. My family at The Fat Radish was just that: a family. We didn’t always get along but we did always love each other. We would yell, laugh, cry, smoke, drink, and dance together. It was a beautiful and complex time in my life and Sánchez brought me back to it in all the best ways.
Darling Days: A Memoir
by iO Tillett Wright
I had never heard of iO until my youngest sibling put this book and my hand and said, “Read this.” Darling Days is an emotional tale of being raised by someone who loves you both too much and not enough. It’s about finding out who you are through trial by fire. It’s about how the most difficult moments in our lives can have the greatest impact. iO doesn’t hold back in the details of his upbringing and the ways in which his mother left some horrible scars, but he also doesn’t paint her as a villain. He has as much compassion for his mother as he does for himself which is honestly inspirational. Darling Days is a touching read that I highly recommend for anyone looking for a humble memoir rooted in intense honesty.
The Hate U Give
by Angie Thomas
This book and the next come with an acknowledgment that I am late to the game on both of them. I like to think it’s obvious why The Hate U Give should be required reading right now (and should have been since the day it was published) but in case it isn’t here we go: Police in this country have waged war on the Black body and it has to end. When the people who are supposed to protect all of us actually kill many of us, then we need take their power from them. This is a country literally built on the backs of Black people, and yet we treat them like they are as disposable as tissues. We must value Black lives and protect them. Black lives matter, and Thomas does a huge favor for white people everywhere by writing a book that can help you understand the Black perspective as easily as possible. This is base level stuff, and Thomas does it beautifully and gracefully. The Hate U Give is an engrossing page turner because it is rooted in honest characters with clear and justifiable points of view. The Hate U Give us about finding your voice and standing up for Black lives. So if you haven’t already, please dear god find your freakin’ voice already.
The Fire Next Time
by James Baldwin
The Fire Next Time is my first James Baldwin book and my only regret is that it took me this long to get to it. Obviously Baldwin is a world class writer, thinker, and scholar, but up until now I had only ever listened to him or watched him. Reading is words is a wholly unique experience. He has a way of transporting you directly to the forefront of his brain and showing you, with clear and uncompromising vision, the world in which he finds himself. In this book, Baldwin describes the world that he was brought up in and the dangers of every part of it. What hit me first was his critique and hatred for Christianity and the ways in which it has propped up slavery and oppression in The United States. Similarly to This Changes Everything, Baldwin shows us the interconnectivity of these issues and how we cannot address one without addressing them all. Ultimately, however, I loved this book as a celebration of Black life- of the strength, passion, love, laughter, dance, and pride that comes with being a part of such a vibrant world. It’s this ability to show us the dark and the light that makes me think that The Fire Next Time should be required high school reading, same as Night or The Things They Carried.
Grant
by Ron Chernow
I did! I finally finished Grant! I started this thousand-some-odd-page book literally years ago at this point. See, he’s a big boy. So I always saved him for when I hit my reading goal, and thanks to the the pandemic I finished it quite early this year! Which meant lots of time for Grant and man oh man did I love this book. Ron Chernow is the best at what he does for a reason. He paints a picture of Grant that is both so complicated and so simple. This was a president and leader that I knew nothing about beyond the fact that he won us the Civil War. I didn’t know about his alcoholism, his daddy issues, his commitment to his wife, the blind trust of those he surrounded himself with, nothing! Grant is an amazing example of an American leader. Both extremely admirable and incredibly flawed, he is our country in human form. He was an idealistic and powerful advocate for freedom, but he often fell very short and had severe faults that make him anything but perfect. My favorite part about this book, though, is that you can just sink into it. It’s long but only because it is so packed with information and details. I love reading about past Presidents (more so now that we’ve had such a terrible one for the past several years) and this is a strong addition to my list. If you want to read about how amazing and fucked up this country can truly be, you should really give this book a try. Just know that it might take a little while to get through.
